Thursday, March 1, 2012

I'm Not Old

I don’t really think of myself as “old” although my body seems to enjoy telling me differently.  Oh, you know the signs; less energy, creaking joints, more trips to the doctor.  There is another symptom I can’t recall – I was just thinking it… well, maybe I’ll remember by the time I’m done. 

Even though I’m NOT old I have begun to make changes - take measures.  For instance, I try to double up efforts.  You know, doing two things at a time in order to conserve energy.  One thing I do now is sleep while watching TV.  I use the same technique while reading a book.  Another great energy saving device is to have a drink on the deck while watching someone else mow the yard.  It’s a wonderful way to get things done!

I find simple things more enjoyable these days.  There’s nothing I like better than a nice stroll to my car for a drive to the mailbox.   I know, I know I should leave the car parked and get some fresh air.  So I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a golf cart.  All my friends have one and highly recommend them.  Most of them are old though so I may put off getting one for a while.

My mind is still a steel trap.  A bit rusty, perhaps, but so what?  No one else knows.  I find if I keep my mouth shut and have a thoughtful look people just assume I’m having deep intellectual thoughts.  It’s fun really.  Younger people will dance around a subject all day wondering what it is I know.  Fact-of-the-matter, I haven’t a clue what the subject even is.  Nothing proves ignorance like opening your mouth.

And nothing brings on old age like admitting it.  However, I sure don’t want to be young again.  Not everyone has had this problem but I was really stupid when I was young.  Just last year I did one of the most incredibly dumb things of my life.  No, I’m not going to tell you what it was.  See how much smarter I am?  Suffice it to ask, do you really want to go back and fret about what you’re going to do with your life?  Heck no!  It’s a done deal.  I am who I am.  I sometimes wonder how different things would have been had I stayed in school or joined the military or married Heather.  But of this I’m certain; it wouldn’t be any better – just different.  And it’s been so nice, once I came to the realization, that I am not responsible for the outcome of world history.  Now, I never mind sitting around a campfire with a friend or two or three solving all the world’s problems.  That can sometimes be a quite lively activity.  But in the end I sleep well knowing mankind’s course is unalterable; the wise and the foolish alike will look back and say – Holy Shit, I could have had the yellow golf cart!
OK – If you slept through this it’s time to wake up and get on with it.  Time is running out and there’s a lot of stuff to do!  So get out there and find somebody to do it!

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